Surrender //

SURRENDER //

I was suppose to step onto a plane to Greece today.

But this [photo].... this is the only way. For me.

heal.jpg

Healing has taught me so much. And I know it's not done with me.

It has taught me to stop playing victim because I go there with my lyme and everything else in my body right now. Why me? I live a healthy lifestyle, I eat well, I am active, I am young, I meditate. So why me? I use to feel anger and frustration and a bit like life is being totally unfair to me. The days I physically cannot lift the covers off of me and stand up or sit down, piss me off.

But the victim game does nothing for us. ZERO. It only squanders magnificence. I'm telling you this because it's super fresh to me.

Healing has taught me to slow the F down. And I mean, WAAAYYYYYYY down. Cancelling trips. Sitting down to meditate more than once a day. Learning to 'DO" nothing. That is a huge pill to swallow. Usually I'll be "doing" nothing and within that space, I think of all the things I could be "doing". In the over stimulated world we live in today, it's exceptionally hard to not feel guilty or lazy or unaccomplished or even unsuccessful when you're sitting around because you know you need to.

All of this sitting around and quieting my mind has taught me that this is the only way to move forward. To heal. To drop myself and the "shoulds" and the low vibration feelings of guilt and shame and why me.

I use to think that the pause would only hold me back. Hinder me. Cause me to miss out. Lose momentum in my career. And now, I almost laugh and cry at the same time about that belief I held. No pain, no gain, right? No hard work, no accomplishments, right?

I'm learning that that is 10000% bass ackwards. But it is truly difficult to let go and trust that I would find the opposite experience in my rest: more energy (little by little and I'm noticing it). More momentum. More clarity. More "success" (whatever that means for you).

What is life without risk, without failure and without hitting rock bottom? This is where I've found my true, pure fuel that I plan to use to freaking LIGHT UP this world. Not yet...as I'm still in healing mode. But it's there. Freshness. Powerful fuel. And I hope you come along with me on the ride and we can all change this world together.

There's a personal communication when we sit down and slow down.

There's a personal connection when we sit down and slow down.

There's a personal compass and clarity when we sit down and slow down.

To heal, we must drop ourselves and everything we thought we "should" be and "do". And it's scary. But it's glorious.

And I can say that on this day where a piece of me would be PISSED and almost ashamed that I'm not going to Greece to do some yoga research, I am breathing bigger and yes, I can feel the lightness.

Drop yourself.
Drop the resistance (it only creates stress).
We have the experiences we have for very specific reasons.

I'm finding massive gratitude in this health journey of mine. But only because I finally surrendered to the course. I dropped myself and my "shoulds" and the "unfairness" I felt.

It's amazing the power and light and potential that you step into when the white flag is finally raised.

I invite you to sit down today and breathe. Somewhere. Anytime. For 120 seconds.

It might be the most powerful thing you do.

Raw and Real: My Health

chickpea.jpg

I stood over a bowl of chickpeas the other day and started crying. I was mashing the damn things for an amazing chickpea salad that I make, and just the effort of mashing was making me feel exhausted. 

Mashing chickpeas was making me feel exhausted.

This just isn't right.  I'm 38. 

This isn't the first time, and right now, with my Lyme disease fight, I know it isn't my last.  But I had to wipe my tears and keep mashing.  Sometimes I don't know if my exhaustion is mental exhaustion or physical exhaustion these days.

I often weigh in the options of sharing my health journey with the online world, because... why?

I go back and forth, telling myself that my focus is 100% healing right now and sharing just leaks my energy.  And as you know from my chickpea incident above, I need every single ounce of energy I can get these days.

On the flip side, I'm a believer that knowledge is power and if my experiences and my health journey can benefit someone else, then hell yes.

So in the end, I do what makes me feel good.  And tonight, sharing with you my most recent slaps in the face feel right.

For those who don't know, I have lyme disease.  I went through a 4 day magnetic treatment at the end of January.  The magnet is a monster sized magnet that is placed over all areas where lyme is present in my body.  It takes about 2 hours a day.  The point of the magnet is to make your body an alkaline environment.  For those who don't have lyme, you can easily make your body an alkaline environment by drinking warm lemon water daily.  For those of us with a compromised or even non-existent immune system, we need something like an enormous sized magnet.

The good news:  the treatment worked.  I had to follow a super strict diet following the treatment to keep my body as alkaline as possible (sheesh - it's freaking hard.  WHAT is in our food these days?  Don't get me started).

The bad news:  I stepped onto an airplane way too soon after treatment. 

The thing is, I'm a yoga teacher that travels.  Non-stop.  My lifestyle doesn't foster healing.  I pack my carrots (and raise eyebrows through security) and my individual packs of walnut butter and I do the best that I can.  Plus, just flying on an airplane does havoc to your kidneys.

Long story short, symptoms started to appear again.  In the same form, but this time, they came back with a vengeance.

I love what I do.  I am so freaking passionate about my job that it is a non-negotiable to give it up. However, with recent test results, I'm learning that maybe I need to create more goodness in the state of Colorado or only teach X amount of retreats, workshops, and trainings per year.  Will I?  Time will tell.

I received some test results back that made me gasp.

Rheumatoid arthritis.  It was obvious I had some sort of arthritis.  Yet the results showed my levels 426 points (!!!) above normal levels.

Epstein Bar Virus.  Again no surprise to know there would be some sort of sign.  Results showed 567 points above normal levels.

Holy shit you guys.  I'm 38 years old.

The doctor I saw today asked me how I am even functioning.  How do I work?  How do I travel?  How do I stand? 

And it made me feel grateful (and laugh).  If I didn't have the yoga practice I have, of tuning into my organs and knowing which poses help which organs and which organs do what, I might be absolutely defeated.  I felt so grateful that I know what I know.  I'm so appreciative of my self care routine.  Of my meditation practice. 

And that my friends, simply shows you the power and leverage of self care.

And as my dear friend, Elli Richter always tells me:  use frustration to fuel inspiration. 

Yes I was frustrated because I feel like I am an overall healthy person.  My body is screaming at me otherwise.  So I am taking that frustration and making small changes that will have a big impact on me.

I cancelled my trip to Greece scheduled for next week.

I'm not hugging anyone anymore, for the time being.  I believe it's a beautiful energy exchange, but right now, my energy is for me. 

Since my results also show that my body is basically absorbing nothing and my immune system doesn't exist, I will be inhaling essential oils non-stop for the weeks to come.  At least I know I can get things moving through my blood stream that way.

Will I still teach and run my events?  ABSOLUTELY.  It's what makes my world go round and keeps me inspired.

Will my responses via email and text be slower?  Most likely.  Don't take it personally.

Lastly, I connected with someone who had lyme for 10 years and he has turned me onto some amazing products that help you re-build, from the ground up.  Clean clean clean supplements (I wouldn't do it any other way, especially when my body isn't absorbing much right now) that will help my immune system revive.  I've heard it's a rocky road at first, jump starting the system (fever, nausea, etc), but I'm willing. 

Chad actually has his own youtube channel that he is getting up and running, trying to educate all of us on this nasty disease.   Check it out:   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQ6ccJjzMEnKGCFfIBIs0gg

So why am I telling you all of this?

To let you know that we all have our battles.  What's the saying -- BE NICE because you never know what battle the person is fighting.

I'm telling you this in case you feel defeated with anything in your life, YOU GOT THIS.  Making a list of small, but mighty changes for myself felt so good.

We are truly responsible for ourselves.  For our choices.  For letting a situation make us feel like either a victim or an inspired challenge where we say BRING IT (and maybe we say "bring it" after we have a good cry).

It's ok.  Whatever you are feeling, going through, stuck on, frustrated with, it's ok.

And if one solution doesn't work, you try another.  You don't stop.

If you have any sort of auto-immune issues, I see you.  I hear you.  I feel you.  I GET IT.   Feel free to reach out and share your story.

I'll keep you posted with what happens over the next few months. 

I'm feeling excited and pissed at the same time. 

What is life without feelings?

#grateful

p.s.... you need to make this:  http://ohsheglows.com/2015/07/21/chickpea-salad/

 

Discipline

Screen Shot 2018-06-03 at 1.04.01 PM.png

Discipline.

Sometimes it can feel like the above picture (that's an attempt at blowing a bubble -- it's not my tongue.  ha!). 

We strive for it. 
We know it's needed in some area of our life. 
But it's difficult. 
It causes us to make a change in a daily habit or even eliminate something from our lives that maybe we don't want to eliminate. 
And the moment we fall off the wagon (because it's part of the process and we have all been there), we can be pretty hard on ourselves about it.

I often feel a struggle around the word: discipline.
It seems to be a word that is strict or a word we strive to be simply to please others. 


Do you agree? 

I want to flip that and allow us to find a set of boundaries that are personal for ourselves. 
Because inspired discipline can open doors.

This is how we find that clarity and ease of life that feels so DAMN good!

What would you like to have more boundaries with? 
And how do we keep our focus on those boundaries?
We will always experience ups and downs, riding the wagon and falling off the wagon. 

It's important to remind ourselves to keep placing one foot in front of the other, REGARDLESS. 

Just do it. 

Don't buy into the hesitation that I like to call a momentary hiccup.
Hesitation can actually cause imbalance.

THIS is the testing point of the discipline that you have desired -- this is the work! 
This determination and work will open doors to the support you need.


The only person that can keep you on track, is YOU.

So make an intentions list -- what do you intend to do?

Make a juice daily?
Give yourself space?
Take that trip you've been craving in your bones?
Stop procrastinating?
Stop looking for external guidance and TRUST yourself?  Use meditation for leverage.

And most importantly, after all is said and done and written down and acknowledged:

BE. EASY. ON. YOURSELF.

After all, you are an amazing human full of abundant energy. 

You belong and you deserve.

Go get what you want out of life.....

Dream Building Secrets

yj.bike.jpg

Dream Building Secrets

Riley Dayne reveals how we can quickly rewire our subconscious with the flip of the switch: literally.

Our work, though, is to know what beliefs and stories we keep telling and living. Do you know? One way to know is to simply allow yourself to be an observer of your SELF.

What do you often say?

•I don't have time
•Who would want to do that with me?
•I'll never make that much money
•I'm always late

We tell ourselves story after story and the more I listen to myself, the more tired of my own self I get. 😫

Once you've become your own best observer and drink your own truth serum, defunk those limitations and REWIRE! ✨✨

This is what you do:


••••say: "I allow myself to turn on the light" (or open the door, or turn off the water, etc).

•••• do: exactly what you are allowing yourself.

•••• immediately follow by rewiring your belief. Say: "I allow myself to have more time" (to be open to receive, to be deserving, to love myself, to feel love, etc).

The ՏՄҌϹՕՂՏϹÍՕՄՏ is where our deepest held beliefs are wired! So in the same way that we are not quite aware that we are walking, talking on our phone and sipping chai at the same time, we are also likely unaware of our repetitive thoughts, stories and limitations.

The good news is: our subconscious is a sponge and if we lather, rinse, repeat, we can easily rewire and begin to feel differently --- and GREAT!.

I've been doing this for a few days and I already notice a difference.

Try it.

Consistency is key!

xo

WTF: Why the Fears.

liar.jpg

Everything I'm about to tell you are things that you already know.
But c'mon friends....WHAT is going on in this world of fear right now? 

Everyone I chat with has some sort of fear dominating themselves right now, MYSELF included. 

Fear will always exist.  But many of us seem to be in a state of letting the fear win lately.
Big changes and shifts are happening. 

We are experiencing our own inner earthquakes.


But lets get clear and honest.


This is what I know about fear through experience:

Because fear will always exist, it's up to us to re-establish our relationship with it.  Lately, when I think things are scary or I say that I am scared or I feel those feelings of resistance and rigidity, I tell myself that this is simply unfamiliar.  Unfamiliar territory.  That's IT!  And it will be unfamiliar until it isn't  And then guess what?  Something else will become unfamiliar again.

The more you start to write about and explore and recognize these feelings we feel, the more you will realize that there is a massive amount of excitement under the fear.  Honestly.  What could possible go wrong? 

What do "they" say?  The bigger the fear, the bigger the joy and freedom that's waiting for you on the other side.  The problem is that no one usually gets to that "other" side.

There are no right or wrong answers.  There is no good and bad.  If you are willing and open to learn from your experiences, there is always good that comes from it (and if you don't believe it, then maybe we should do some work on subconscious belief patterns).

A trust factor must be present.  TRUST that things always work out.  And in almost all cases, better than you could have EVER imagined.  If this is unfamiliar to you, then I am going to challenge you and say that perhaps you haven't taken enough risk in life to believe in such a simple thing. 

And here we go into simplicity:  most of us don't believe in all of this because it's way too easy.  If there's no pain, there's no gain, right?  If we don't work hard, we don't get what we want, right?

WRONG.

Like attracts like.  It's the law of attraction.  So if you believe that trust gets you no where and fear protects you, then that is what you will keep attracting in your life.

It's almost like a tree trying to grow in a box.....   how does that feel?

This is what has been working for me, as I am untangling one of my biggest life decisions yet:

As I work through my own fears and what ifs and all other shit that my brain tells me, I realized that I was focusing on everything I didn't want.  Go back to the law of attraction.  UGHHHH.  All that means is I was perpetuating everything I didn't want, every day, feeling so stuck.

So, I started to get clear.  I wrote down everything I wanted.  Crystal clear.  Not maybe or if something happens.  NO!  I wrote down what I wanted without worrying about HOW it would happen or WHEN it would happen.

It's a very quick way to raise your personal vibration and get out of that stuck mode!

So each time my brain defaults to fear, I reach for my notebook and remind myself of everything I want. 

How does this help my big decision?  As things unfold for me, my decision will either fit my vision of what I want, or it won't. 

If you're serious about getting unstuck, do it. 

Just know two things:
There is no ONE way.
You got this.

xo