Surrender //


I was suppose to step onto a plane to Greece today.

But this [photo].... this is the only way. For me.


Healing has taught me so much. And I know it's not done with me.

It has taught me to stop playing victim because I go there with my lyme and everything else in my body right now. Why me? I live a healthy lifestyle, I eat well, I am active, I am young, I meditate. So why me? I use to feel anger and frustration and a bit like life is being totally unfair to me. The days I physically cannot lift the covers off of me and stand up or sit down, piss me off.

But the victim game does nothing for us. ZERO. It only squanders magnificence. I'm telling you this because it's super fresh to me.

Healing has taught me to slow the F down. And I mean, WAAAYYYYYYY down. Cancelling trips. Sitting down to meditate more than once a day. Learning to 'DO" nothing. That is a huge pill to swallow. Usually I'll be "doing" nothing and within that space, I think of all the things I could be "doing". In the over stimulated world we live in today, it's exceptionally hard to not feel guilty or lazy or unaccomplished or even unsuccessful when you're sitting around because you know you need to.

All of this sitting around and quieting my mind has taught me that this is the only way to move forward. To heal. To drop myself and the "shoulds" and the low vibration feelings of guilt and shame and why me.

I use to think that the pause would only hold me back. Hinder me. Cause me to miss out. Lose momentum in my career. And now, I almost laugh and cry at the same time about that belief I held. No pain, no gain, right? No hard work, no accomplishments, right?

I'm learning that that is 10000% bass ackwards. But it is truly difficult to let go and trust that I would find the opposite experience in my rest: more energy (little by little and I'm noticing it). More momentum. More clarity. More "success" (whatever that means for you).

What is life without risk, without failure and without hitting rock bottom? This is where I've found my true, pure fuel that I plan to use to freaking LIGHT UP this world. Not I'm still in healing mode. But it's there. Freshness. Powerful fuel. And I hope you come along with me on the ride and we can all change this world together.

There's a personal communication when we sit down and slow down.

There's a personal connection when we sit down and slow down.

There's a personal compass and clarity when we sit down and slow down.

To heal, we must drop ourselves and everything we thought we "should" be and "do". And it's scary. But it's glorious.

And I can say that on this day where a piece of me would be PISSED and almost ashamed that I'm not going to Greece to do some yoga research, I am breathing bigger and yes, I can feel the lightness.

Drop yourself.
Drop the resistance (it only creates stress).
We have the experiences we have for very specific reasons.

I'm finding massive gratitude in this health journey of mine. But only because I finally surrendered to the course. I dropped myself and my "shoulds" and the "unfairness" I felt.

It's amazing the power and light and potential that you step into when the white flag is finally raised.

I invite you to sit down today and breathe. Somewhere. Anytime. For 120 seconds.

It might be the most powerful thing you do.