I forgot my underwear at the doctor's office....

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I was wearing a dress, so I didn't have to change into a robe for my lady doctor.  All I had to do was take off my underwear.  Maybe too much information, but now it's justified, maybe?  I find the situation quite humorous.

I didn't leave my underwear behind on purpose (obviously), but sometimes brain fog consumes you, especially when you also have an immense amount of pain just trying to survive in public.

Pain is a teacher.

You know how when you can't do something, you get around yourself to make it happen?  You'll overcompensate here or under compensate there.  You find "clever skills" you never knew you had.  It's the same effort with pain.  Except with pain, you learn very quickly that you can't get around yourself.  At least in my case, these last few months, I've felt stuck, literally.

I still can't dress myself 100%.  I still have trouble sitting down and standing up.  I still have to teach with my shoes on because my feet are painful.  I still have days of immense brain fog (hence leaving my own underwear behind).  But from where I was a few months ago to now, I have tears of immense gratitude.  

Healing is the most patient process I have ever experienced.  And let me be clear:  I fought the healing process for many years.  I did not make an active choice to surrender; my body did it for me.  Take note of those signs that ask you to slow down before a 2x4 figuratively plows you over.  I'm someone who likes to go, who likes to play outside, who doesn't want to stop seeing the world, who is always thinking of new ideas and jumping up and down about them.  Until I couldn't....

It's  quite interesting to me as we live in this world of instant gratification, we want to be healed NOW.  It's as if we planted a field of sunflowers and immediately after covering the seed with dirt, we were discouraged that the flower hadn't appeared.  Let's admit, we do it with many things nowadays: why doesn't this diet work, why doesn't this fitness routine work, why hasn't the world changed after protesting, why doesn't my skin look good after one use of a new product, etc, etc.  I know you can relate.

Healing has taught me to slow the F down. And I mean, WAAAYYYYYYY down. Cancelling trips. Sitting down to meditate more than once a day. Learning to 'DO" nothing. That is a huge pill to swallow. Usually I'll be "doing" nothing and within that space, I think of all the things I could be "doing". In the over stimulated world we live in today, it's exceptionally hard to not feel guilty or lazy or unaccomplished or even unsuccessful when you're sitting around because you know you need to.

All of this sitting around and quieting my mind has taught me that this is the only way to move forward. To heal. To drop myself and the low vibration "shoulds".

I use to think that the pause would only hold me back. Hinder me. Cause me to miss out. Lose momentum in my career. And now, I almost laugh and cry at the same time about that belief I held. No pain, no gain, right? No hard work, no accomplishments, right?

I feel as if I know myself better than ever.  And the most beautiful realization for me is, I'm only just beginning.  I feel that I've been able to nourish my career and really get clear about what it is I am doing and what no longer serves me.  And most importantly, I've revamped my personal boundaries so much so that I know where to spend my energy and where to hold it true to me.

Pain has taught me:

> Inconsistency is your friend and you get really good at riding the waves.

> You NEVER know what someone is going through.  I look seemingly "normal", but if you witnessed me trying to pick a pen up off the floor, you would either think I was expecting a baby or I was 99 years old. 

> My compassion has been fine tuned in a way I never thought existed.

> To trust myself.  There are so many approaches to lyme disease and diets and what is good for you and what isn't.  I've learned to tap into my body and feed it was it needs, even if it's not good for lyme.  Just as I teach in yoga, everyone is working with their own set of conditions.

> To feel.  That is no small gesture.

There's a great benefit to the pause.  And I knew this before my lyme disease kicked my ass (and my brain, and my feet and my knees - ha).  We all know this.  But it's like reading those quotes you see on brilliant cards or even on social media:  they resonate and they make sense and they might even inspire us.  Yet the day they apply to us is a whole new ballgame.

I work with a lot of people who are healing and I see and feel their resistance to the process.  I get it.  I really do.  Yet the surest way to begin the healing process is to surrender.  Surrender holds a lot of unknowns.  How freaking amazing is that?

Here's to the unknown.

If you're in a healing state, I see you and hear you.  It's a personal journey.

p.s.... use caution when searching for an image of lace underwear. 

 

How I Do, What I Do....

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So you want to know how I do, what I do?

I get messages all of the time, asking me questions, asking me to meet for coffee, asking me for the smallest piece of advice.  I don't say that in a stuck up manner.  I am grateful for all of you that reach out and I truly value curiosity.  However, I have strong boundaries with my time due to my health and my travel schedule.  I am also someone who wishes to empower you to find the answers in your own way, because believe me, the pay off is so much better when you take a look back and say "HELL YES, I created that".  Yet I do also believe in being supportive and supported.  We are all doing the best we can with what we have.  This I know. 

I am a self learner.  I love to learn things on my own and in my own time.  I will research the crap out of something until I know it left and right, up and down.  It actually lights me up to be such a researcher of my own life and career.  And I love to take risks because in my experience, that is the EXACT place where we find gain in what we are building and creating.  On top of that, risk provides us the opportunity to fail.  And if that scares you, then I'll be honest, maybe what you are thinking about doing, isn't for you.  Failing is part of the process.  Failing is needed.  Failing makes you stronger and provides some of the most profound lessons.  The most beautiful thing about "failing" (and I put that in quotes because, really, is it failing or is that our perspective?) is that we are always ok.  In fact, we grow stronger because of it all.

With all of this being said, YES, I am willing to help any of you.  Yet I offer it as a consult or program and the choice is yours, depending on your needs.

My career research and figuring out how to do what I do has cost me my time, my marriage, and my health.  Those things are valuable to me and above all, so is my own self worth and value.  This is why I am offering my tips, information, and leverage to you at a worthwhile experience and price.

I am always here for you.  And this is what it looks like:

WAIT -- you thought I was going to give you all of the answers, didn't you? 

If you have been to my workshops or retreats or know me well enough, you know that's not how I roll.  I am a teacher.  I want to empower you.  I want you to learn.  And if I gave you all of the answers, I can guarantee you might not follow through with it all.  Having the answers is boring.  However, I will give you tools and insights and ideas that are going to leverage what you want to bring to life! 

One hour (you can live anywhere, because we can skype or zoom or facetime):  $150

Three sessions (3 hours):  $395

What you get:

One hour with me to ask me anything you want.  Of course, there is a format, as I send you a list of questions prior to our session so we can maximize our time together.

We can talk:

Traveling and teaching // studio connections // building an audience // your community // thinking outside of the box // other ways to gain exposure// and more.....

If you are more interested in running retreats, we can talk:

Venues // site visits // pricing // marketing // before, during, and after a retreat // number of people // financials and behind the scenes // what to look for when creating a retreat // communication // whether or not to offer discounts // what NOT to do // what happens when someone cancels //  the single MOST important thing to do // social media // and more......

So what do you say?

The YES is what lights you up, what your soul craves, what you are meant to do.

Owning your shit is key.  Having a plan is imperative.  Knowing your WHY is like oxygen.

I'm happy to help.  Reach out via the connect tab.

 

xo